The X-Files: I Want to Believe by Chris Carter (2008)
26 July 2008Now I was never an X-Files fan to begin with, but I have seen some good episodes (though more bad ones) and thought the first movies was good enough, so I didn’t mind goign with Kelly because she is a fan, and I drag her to movies all the time, but I have to say this is not the X-Files, but the F-Files. This movie stinks from start to finish. The story is ridiculous, and obvious, with no twists or turns, the direction sucks, and the whole movie is as shaky as can be, and even worse the leads have zero chemistry. And they have supposedly been lovers for 5 years! They even still call each other Scully and Mulder, instead of firsts names, and honestly I thought the actors hated each other, I mean are Duchovny and Anderson in a fight? I never believed for a second that either they loved each other, or even liked each other. The story wasn’t good at all, and while it had a psychic element, it was once again unprovable, and no one believed it. This movie was just ridiculous, and with all the fans of the show, I can’t believe they would end the show with such a horrible let down, kind of like how they ended Star Trek the Next Generation Movies. This movie is crap, right up there with Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, that horribly bad!
The film starts with a bunch of FBI agents out on a frozen pond looking for something, the agents are led by ASAC Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet) and Agent Modely Drummy (Alvin “Zxibit” Joiner), but they are being led by an old man with glasses and long hair, Father Joseph Crissman (Billy Connolly). The Father leads them to the middle of the lake and they find a severed arm. It turns out the case is about missing female FBI agent, who was taken by two men, and one was the man whose arm they found. Since the Father is a known pedophile, but is also supposedly finding these visions through some psychic connections. So Whitney goes to Dr. Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson). Scully is a doctor working at a religious hospital led by Father Ybarra (Adam Godley), and she is dealing with a small child named Christian (Marco Niccoli) who has a fatal illness, and the Father wants him out of the hospital, but Scully wants to do all she can, and is trying convince his parents Margaret (Carrie Rischeinsky) and Blair (Spencer Maybee) to continue treatment. Whitney wants Scully to find Mulder for her, to help with this psychic case, and they will forgive his being on the run from the FBI. Scully goes home to Mulder, and gets him to help on the case, and they go to talk to Father Crissman. Scully of course doesn’t believe him, but Mulder believes something is going on.
REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS…
A second woman leaves a swimming pull and is run off the road by Janke Dacshyn (Callum Keothe Rennie from Battestar Galactica), and taken and put in a box along with a bunch of dogs.
Whitney and Drummy take Mulder and Father Crissman to the house of the missing FBI agent, well actually to the house next door, and he immediately knows it isn’t the house, and leads to the house, and out back, where she was chased, and then starts bleeding from the eyes.
The next day Scully and Mulder are in bed, and talk of their dead son, and talk about her patients and the FBI case. Scully tells Mulder that the missing arm was medically and cleanly cut off, but strangely had animal tranquilizer in it. Mulder is energized by the case, but Scully wants him to quit it now, though she got him in it. Mulder shaves his beard, and goes to the FBI, and to a nighttime search with Father Crissman, where they find a burial grand for missing limbs, heads, and other body parts.
The limbs lead them to organ transporters, and Daschyshyn and his husband Franz Tomczeszyn (Fagin Woodcock) who was one of Crissman’s molested kids. Immediately the FBI and Sculley think that Crissman was in fact part of the case, and had no psychic connection, though Mulder still believes. They go on a raid to the organ transport company, and find the head of the missing FBI agent, and Mulder and Whitney chase Daschyshyn, but he gets away and Whitney is killed, and they close Mulder out from the case.
Scully wants permission to do a radical stem cell treatment on Christian, while Father Ybarra wants him moved to a hospice to die. Scully has questions of her faith, and goes to Crissman to confront him, but he collapses with lung cancer. Mulder goes to talk to him, but Scully does the talking, and asks about the FBI agent, and he says she is still alive, when they have her head. Scully wants Mulder to stop, but he takes her car, and goes to investigate further.
He goes to a animal supply store, and finds that Daschyshyn has been buying animal tranquilizers there, and he actually shows up and he follows him, but Daschyshyn sees him, and pushes his car off a cliff. Mulder awakens and follows, and finds a makeshift Russian medical facility attempting to transplant Tomczesyn’s head onto the body of the new missing girl, and his body is in fact on still alive body of the missing FBI agent.
Scully reads the research on the stem-cell treatment, and finds Russian research on transplanting heads, with dogs and people, and realizes that the girl is still alive, and goes to find Mulder, finding his missing car, and finally calling in Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) from the FBI, and she gets on the trail, and realizes that some of the stuff that Crissman has said is true and realizing that he may have some psychic connection.
Mulder has meanwhile been caught by Daschyshyn, and has been drugged and is going to be killed, when Skinner and Scully show up and save him, and save the girl.
It ends with Crissman being blamed as part of this whole thing, and Mudler wanting to clear him, but they talk about what Crissman told her not to give up, and she ends up continuing the the treatment to save the kid.
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Uh, what they hell was this? THis movies stunk, from the premise, through everything.
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