Doctor Who by Geoffrey Sax (1996)
21 September 2009If you haven’t noticed, I am on a huge Doctor Who kick of late (was even the 4th Doctor for last Halloween, and my license plate on my blue prius is TARDIIS), and I had heard so much of this infamous attempt to bring Doctor Who to America that I really wanted to see it, even if it was as bad as it sounded. Well I finally did manage to track it down and check it out, and it is really, really bad (and even worse is considered canon), which is too bad, because it has 3 thing going for it. First the first 20 minutes features the 7th Doctor Sylvester McCoy who does a great job here. Second is the production design of McCoy’s Tardis which looks like something out of HG Wells, and looks all the better for it too. Third is in fact the eight doctor, here in his only on screen appearance (now in his popular 3rd season on the excellent Big Finish Audio Adventures) is Paul McGann who makes an excellent Doctor, even with the terrible script and horrific acting of the rest of the cast. He could have gone far, if only this had been done in England with producers and writers who really love Doctor Who instead of trying to make him a cheesy 1980’s American Action hero (and what is up with him supposedly being half human? WTF?!?!??!?). With how good the 3 things are, it takes a lot to take this down, but down it goes, down in flames! This to me is the worst Doctor Who adventure ever, and this chance to revitalize the show (which had run from 1963-1989) killed it until the 2005 revival of Doctor Who. Honestly only really serious Doctor Who fans should even try to see this, because it is after all considered Canon, but it just is is so bad, that it really hurts the whole Canon, and it is not like Doctor Who was not previously cheesy!
The film stars with the most epic version of the Doctor Who theme yet, and we learn that the Doctor’s most notorious nemesis The Master has been exterminated on Skaro (homeworld of the Daleks) for his crimes (Huh? Why would the Dalek’s do something for the Timelords their mortal enemies?!?!??!) and the current Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) was sent to pick up the remains and return with them to the homeworld of the Timelords, Gallifrey, but the remains escape, and cause the TARDIS to make an emergency landing on Earth in the 21st Century, San Franscisco’s Chinatown to be exact. There a Chinese boy named Chang Lee (Yee Jee Tso) is being chased by a Triad, and the Doctor is shot as he exits the TARDIS, with Lee safe behind it the materialized time machine. Lee takes the Doctor to the hospital, where he is quickly brought into surgery. They find the Doctor has 2 hearts, and call in surgeon Dr. Grace Halloway (Daphne Ashbrook). She thinks the x-ray is a double exposure and starts surgery. She inserts a cardiac probe, and the Doctor awakens, and tries to stop her, and tells her he needs a beryllium atomic clock (to fix his TARDIS) then passes out again, and dies of cardiac arrest (and the drugs she gave him supposedly slow the regeneration process, so it does not happen immediately, and also cause the 8th Doctor to have some memory loss, and possibly be half human, which seems completely ridiculous, but so is most of this story). So he is placed in the morgue. Lee quickly sneaks out with the Doctor’s possessions including the TARDIS key. The remains of the master take over the Ambulance driver, Bruce (Eric Roberts) possessing him. He kills his wife, and heads out to find the Doctor’s body, which he wants to use as his own, as he out of regenerations (having passed his 13th incarnation). That night in the morgue, the Doctor regenerates (into Paul McGann), taking a Wyatt Earp costume from someone’s locker for a New Years eve party, and heads out to find Grace, and convince her he is the same man as the one she operated on, to get her help, as his memory is foggy.
REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS...
Lee goes to the TARDIS, and enters with the key he has stolen, finding inside the Master (Eric Roberts). He convinces Lee that in fact is the Doctor who is evil, and he has stolen his body, and he needs Lee’s help to get it back (when in fact the Master needs the Doctor’s body to keep on living and be able to regenerate).
He takes Lee to the heart of the TARDIS, the Cloister room, and gets his help to open it’s heart, the Eye Of Harmony using his human retinal pattern (Which Bruce’s body would have too, but I am assuming can’t because his eyes have turned yellow, which is stupid, but most of this is).
The Doctor is with Grace, and realizes that the Eye has opened, remembering who he is, as it opens, and closing his eyes, so the Master cannot see though his eye’s using the eye. He realizes he and Grace must shut the Eye before Midnight or the entire planet will be destroyed, and to do so he needs an atomic clock.
Grace does not believe the Doctor and returns to her home, but the Doctor follows and shows that reality is changing by walking though one of her windows without breaking it. Grace still takes some convincing, and she calls an ambulance for what she thinks is a crazy guy, but the two go in it, and end up heading to a science institute where she is on the board, and they are about to start a new atomic clock.
Lee and the Master hear the call for an ambulance, and head in Bruce’s ambulance and go after them.
The Doctor and Grace manage to get the necessary components of the atomic clock, though Grace gets hit with some of the Master’s green bile on her wrist. They steal a motorcycle and go on a chase to the TARDIS. The Doctor manages to install the chip into the TARDIS controls, but realizes the Eye has been open for too long, and that he must revert time to stop the Earth from being destroyed, but before he can finish, the Master takes over Grace using the bile, and captures the Doctor.
The Doctor is chained up next to the Eye, and the Master gets Grace to activate the eye so he can begin to transfer into the Doctor’s body. The Doctor tries to get Lee to awaken from the spell he is under by the Master, but he can’t, but Lee refuses to re-open the eye, and the Master kills him, and gets Grace to do it (though this frees her from his will). Grace goes to activate the TARID, but the Master kills her, though this lets the Doctor get free, and throw the master into the Eye, seemingly killing him, and the activated TARDIS rewinds time, bringing Grace and Lee back to life, and saving the Earth.
Lee gives the Doctor back his possessions and leaves, and he offers Grace (who he has kissed) to come with him, but she refuses, and he sets out on his previous course back to Galiffrey.
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Wow, so damn lame. A bad story, and such bad acting all the way around. I mean the Master has been over the top before, but it is just ridiculous here. And too bad because as I said McGann could have been good. I actually want to hear some of his audio adventures with Big Finish now, which are in their 3rd season, but I am glad this did not continue in this form, because it was absolutely awful. It is really too bad this is cannon, it is that bad!
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