Grindhouse by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (2007)
14 April 2007This movie was getting bad reviews, but I normally like these directors, so I decided to drag my girlfriend to go see it. And I have to say that if I was Robert Rodriguez and had seen Tarantino’s awful Deathproof and his terrible performance in my film I would have insisted that they split this double feature into their separate films, and released my film on it’s own. Deathproof is that bad. It is absolutely terrible. The worst dialogue I have ever heard. In fact all it has going for it are some good stunts near the end, and a funny final scene. The film is so bad that I kept wishing that it would be missing another reel (in an homage to old Grindhouse double features both films are missing reals) so I could get away from this terrible story and meaningless dialogue. In fact I can only think of one film that I have ever seen that was worth than Deathproof, and that was the Hong Kong film Leopard Hunting I saw with my friend Jeff Briggs, which was obviously a Triad produced film, but the plant in that film was better than most things in deathproof (except one long shot where you could see Rosario Dawson’s nipple sticking through her shirt).
Planet Terror on the other hand I quite enjoyed. It is just an ultra over the top and ridiculous zombie film. The fake scratches and film damage were a bit too much, but it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the carnage and bloodshed. And it is cool to see Freddy Rodrîguez in a lead role as the bad ass of the film. This film is fun and gross, and nuts. The biggest complaint being that they gave away the gun leg in all the advertisements, so you are waiting for it the entire film (and they should have cut Tarantino and his awful performance out).
And then of course is how the film is put together, which includes trailers to non existent films, directed by Eli Roth (Thanksgiving), Edgar Wright (Don’t), Rob Zombie (Werewolf Women of the S.S.) and the best by Robert Rodriguez (”Machete” featuring the legendary Danny Trejo). It seems like only Rodriguez got the whole grindhouse thing, so hopefully they will split these up on DVD and you can just get Terror Planet.
REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS…
PLANET TERROR written, directed, shot and edited by Robert Rodriguez is an utlra gore zombie film.
A group of ex US Special Troopers led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis) go with an evil scientist Abby (Naveen Andrews) with a penchant for collecting men’s balls, to get a super secret chemical that turns people into zombies. The troopers have been exposed and need small doses all the time so that they don’t completely turn, but they end up releasing the gas into the air, and causing the local population to become zombies. This involves local mechanic Wray (Freddy Rodriguez) who has an arsenal of guns in his tow truck, and is always being harassed by the local sheriff Hague (Michael Biehn). Wray’s ex is a gogo dancer named Cherry (Rose McGowan) who ends up hurt and at the local hospital. At the hospital local psycho Dr. William Block (Josh Brolin) is planning on killing his wife Dakora (Marley Shelton) because she wants to leave him for another woman, but the influx of infected people becoming zombies, only allows him to stun both of her hands, and she escapes to get her son (who kills himself with the gun she gives him), and find her father who works with the Sheriff.
Wray gets Hague to go to the hospital with him to rescue Cherry and they manage, and get some other survivors and head to a local barbeque place, where Wray sleeps with Cherry and they arm up and head off to stop the menace.
Eventually they hook up with Abby, who tells them that since they are not infected they are the cure, and the go to the military base to destroy the chemical, but get captured. Eventually they manage to break out, and Wray gives Cherry a machine gun leg, which they use to escape, but Wray is killed. And Cherry becomes a leader, leading people to a safe land on the edge of Mexico, raising her daughter (of Wray’s) and saving people.
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A really fun and ridiculous film.
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Death Proof written and directed by Quinten Tarantino is an awful car film, just awful.
Basically the film drags on for the first hour, introducing a group of women out to party for the night, who don’t know it, but they are being stalked by he psychotic Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) who has made his car a death proof stunt car. He ends up picking up one girl (Rose McGowen) and smashing her around the car till she dies, and then driving his car into the other women’s car, killing them all, and getting off.
Then he sets another target, which are a group of women working on a movie, including real life stunt woman Zoe Bell, another stunt woman and Abernathy (Rosario Dawson). A bunch of bullshit happens, but basically the girls trade the actress friend so they can borrow this cherry car they want to do a stunt on, where Zoe will ride on the hood. And they go to do it, but are attacked by Stuntman Mike, but these women won’t take it lying down, and hunt him down and kill him.
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Yes the stunts with Zoe Bell on the hood of the car are amazing, and the scenes with Kurt Russell weeping after they shot him and are chasing him are funny, but the rest of the film is so terrible it is not worth talking about. THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST FILMS I HAVE EVER SEEN! AWFUL TO THE CORE!!!!!