Whale of a Tale Productions

A Post Production Company
INDY-JK--7494

Star Trek: Discovery, created by Bryan Fuller and Alex Kurtzman, 2017

So I have been a Trekkie (never liked the term Trekker) since I was a little kid. Been to a bunch of conventions when I was younger. I just love Star Trek. Always have and always will.

Still I don’t love everything Trek. Star Trek Voyager was just mediocre to me. And Enterprise while I watched it just wasn’t very good. It was a mistake to do a prequel instead of moving forward where with the story where you could not worry about stepping on canon. And the new JJ Abrams Star Trek films were just not my cup of tea. Sure the first one was interesting, and well cast, but it did not feel like Star Trek. Too advanced technology, and just about action without the thought behind it. And Into The Darkness was just a tragedy of awfulness.

And the lead up to Discovery did not fill me with hope. As I have said I do not want a prequel. I want something new in the future of Trek where we can keep our old canon, but build something new. And this was not that.

CBS Claims that it is the Prime Universe and yet it takes place about 5 years after the Cage the original series first pilot and 10 years before the 2nd pilot, and yet it literally looks nothing like it. It is not only way more advanced, but nothing looks like what we know. There aren’t even hints of trying to make it fit into the timeline. The uniforms are awful, completely different and use the ranking system of the Next Generation, and totally get rid of the colors we know to specify department. And they seem to have instantaneous holographic communications, so far beyond anything we have seen in Star Trek, that why send a crew when you could have an admiral command the ship from Earth. And they say they respect Canon but they use the Star Trek Delta which did not become the Starfleet symbol till much later in honor of the Enterprise’s completion of it’s 5 year mission.

And to see the rest of the show in the US you have to subscript to CBS All Access, for $5.99 a month with commercials or $10.99 a month without. And it isn’t like the whole show comes out at once, it is weekly and is taking a big break half way through and the second half will come out next year so that you can pay CBS more money for time when you aren’t watching anything on their service!

REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS…

And we are supposed to have sympathy for these characters, but the opening scene literally has Captain Phillipa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh trying so hard but doing so badly with the awful script she was given) and her strangely named female first officer Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green who was not good at all) breaking the prime directive right off the bat. Then we have Burnham going out to explore an anomaly right near Klingon space alone in a space suit and quickly murdering a Huge Klingon warrior, and when she gets back to the ship using a vulcan nerve pinch on her Captain and committing mutiny to try and shoot first at the Klingons (oh and did I mention she is Spock’s adopted human sister raised by Sarek [James Frain] after we have already found that Spock has a secret vulcan brother in Star Trek 5, come on!). And we are supposed to like and want to watch Burnham’s redemption? HELL NO! Not only did she commit mutiny to try and pre-emptively attack the Klingon’s or more accurately the Klingoffs (but I will talk more about that later) but she betrayed her friend who was pushing to get her her own command! And she was raised on Vulcan to be logical, but is so emotional she should never have been allowed on a Starship to begin with!

And in an absolute emergency system a Captain is going to leave the bridge to berate her obviously irrational first officer? Call security and get her escorted from the bridge and deal with her later! WTF!

And the Klingoffs. Yea these are not Klingons. Not only do they look completely different yet again, but we know what Klingons look like in this period, and yes they looked human, but that has been explained in both the Next Generation, DS9 and Enterprise. And now we have all Klingons looking like this. Totally different with such huge teeth prosthetics that they sound like they have marbles in their mouth as they slowly pronounce everything phonetically in Klingon. And are not religious zealots, which is unlike anything from all the years of Klingons we know in Star Trek. And their uniforms looks so stiff and uncomforable with huge spikes on them that look to easily impale and kill them if they were actually in battle (like the Ridiculous Reman Bridge in Star Trek Nemesis)! And their ships look ridiculous as well! Why not just call them what they are, a totally new and different Alien species! Worf would never have come from whatever these are!

And yes the effects were great and the production value high, but it does not look like Star Trek. The bridge doesn’t have a hint of the old Star Trek and you could fit 2 bridges into this bridge on the bottom of a ship unlike any ship we have ever seen in Star Trek. And I really hate the exterior finish of the ship. Just make it look more the movie enterprise or later Star Trek shows instead of this weird weathered look. And what is up with all the goddam lens flares and windows!

And the writing was just stilted and awful. And to have a Science officer and 2nd officer who is scared of everything and is literally a prey species that can tell when death is coming? WTF! Bad writing! Really bad writing all the way around, and bad directing with bad framing and no style to it.

FUCK!

I just don’t see this as Star Trek, and I won’t be paying to see it. Now if it was on TV or even Netflix I would watch it and give it a chance, but having to pay to see this show that I don’t even see as Star Trek is just not going to happen.

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